Looking back four years ago on this date, 7th of August, the painful incident reignited. We had to go through this day, a memory of the past. If there had been no calendar, it would have been better. These dates can either bring happiness or sadness depending on what the recurrence dates mean to us.
As usual I took leave. My wife and I spent most part of the time at home. My wife attended to the household chores and was doing some reading. I was doing some reading, writing and surfing the internet looking for information on subjects related to our lives and spiritualism. I also listened to some of the brief speeches on spiritualism. One of our favourite ones we now follow is Sadhguru. His explanations are meaningful, logical and practical, most of the time. It helps to improve our knowledge and brings us peace of mind.
I also spent a few moments at the balcony looking at the highway watching the free flow of cars. I used to do it occasionally and on this date I broke down again. It is still unbearable to see so many vehicles on the road but now I cannot see my son Prashanth driving his car to come home. To know that I have not talked to him and saw him face to face for four years is unbelievable. Well, this will continue to pop up all the time as years go if I have to live a few more years or much more.
In the evening we went to the same orphanage Vision Home as we did the past three years. We served dinner for the 35 children at the home. There were a few new children who have joined the group. The same care takers Miss Erika, Mr. and Mrs. Sam were present. In fact we always feel that they are wonderful people. They not only take care of these children well but also attend well to people like us during our visits.
They did some prayers for my son as well as for us. During the prayers this time I was just trying to control my tears by shifting my thoughts. Only a few children may be aware why we are there but at the same time many other small children are totally not aware of our feelings and what would be going through us.
We spent some time with the children. We also spent some time talking to Miss Erika, Mr. and Mrs. Sam. We talked about children, our life on earth, experiences and the challenges we are facing now. During our discussion we realized that we are all going through many different experiences and sometimes some similar experiences which are very challenging. Handling these challenges will continue without any breaks as new challenges will come along the way immaterial whether we resolve the existing ones or not. Our job is to keep on managing whatever we face.
The children were served with dinner at 7.30pm. We bought some food they would like to eat. Maria, Miss Erika’s daughter is always an important person in our life. The small boy Bala has also become very close to us now. He was proudly showing a T-shirt given to him by his mother who visits her children at the orphanage once in a few months. There were a few new children who seemed to be happy when we pay attention to them. We can see that sometimes some of these children get very excited seeing us visiting them. In a way we too feel good to be around with them.
Whenever we are at the orphanage, we feel at peace.
Around 9.00pm my wife and I drove back home recalling how our life has turned out to be for us missing Prashanth. We
continue consoling us that everything is temporary here and that we will be together again once we cross over. Meanwhile, we will continue to visit this home regularly as long as we are around and healthy.