Sometimes we need to find our own source in to manage our grief. If you ardent reader then there are many good books which help you to understand our life better and at the same time ti could help you to cope up with the pain. Books in a way and until today are my companion.
One of the books which might be of help is ‘Healing Grief -Reclaiming Life After Any Loss’, published in 2001. The author of the book is James Van Praagh who is well known medium.
James Van Praagh, as a medium has been linking the communication between the loved ones living on earth and the ones living in the spiritual realm. It is claimed that he has helped to change millions of lives who have lost their loved ones. Although not everyone would have met him personally for a reading, his books along with the books written by many others have definitely helped many people around the world.
In this book James shares many insightful spiritual messages from the loved ones on the other side, along with his own personal accounts. He assists us to be aware that everything which happens to us is for the evolvement of our soul, along its journey.
James also introduces some therapeutic remedies by giving healing guidelines not only for those who have lost their loved ones, but also for those who have ended up with divorce, loss of pets as well as other types of losses.
In the last chapter, he has 38 interesting questions and answers session. It could be useful for us to understand what could be the life on the other side. He also says that the only ‘religion’ on the other side is love. I believe as love exists in every religion it will continue to do so more meaningfully on the other side.
He concluded the book by saying that this book will not bring about a quick fix to your on-going grief but it could bring comfort and assist one in resolving some of the various questions or conditions of one’s daily life. He says how we react to a particular situation is important which could either hinder or assist us to handle the situation.
When my son Prashanth moved on to the next realm I was wondering why some people stayed away from me. Some of my close friends and relatives who were in continuous touch with me suddenly put a halt to all communication, including e-mails. I assumed email would be the best tool for someone to communicate with me or probably at least a text message. But very few did it.
What I heard from others was that they do not know what to say or how to console me. Some even said that they do not want to trouble me. I was then asking myself whether I was abnormal in craving to talk about my son to someone everyday, which I do to this day. But it was a natural feeling I had. I then assumed probably I am one of the few exceptional case. Everyday, and more often on weekends my eyes will keep turning to my home entrance, hoping someone close to me will pop in. Of course although there were some closed ones who visited us, there were many who never turned up until today. In some cases I have met up with some friends accidentally and I do even asked them whether they knew what happened to my family. Normally they nod their head acknowledging or say “Yes”. So, I realised that sometimes there are blocks within us which hinder us from communicating with people who have lost their loved ones.
I realised I could only talk about my son most of the time with my own wife . Occasionllly I do the same with very close relatives and friends of mine. At the same time I even start talking about my son to people whom I meet for the first time. I feel very desperate if I don’t talk about my son. So much so I even talked to those whom I had to interview for a job. Some even listened very intensively. Fortunately they did not walk a way. Otherwise, it would have been not only embarrassing but painful as well.
Am I crazy talking about my son regularly? l realised I am not. As I was reading many books I realised that I am not alone who is seeking for ‘listeners’. Many of those who have lost their loved ones feel the same. They say almost the same things.
In one of the books ‘I’m still with you’ written by the spiritual medium Carole she touched on this subject. Below is an extract from the book.
“If you are the one who is giving comfort to others who are grieving, take action and offer to do something for them that will help in day-to day living. Preparation of a meal, tending to a garden, running errands or cleaning house are chores that often get neglected when people are grieving. Many people simply need someone to listen to them talk about a departed loved one, which helps release the pain of loss. Don’t ever say, “If you need anything, call me,” because most people in grief will never pick up the phone to do so. You must be the one to reach out. Your time and talents will help to ease someone’s passage in ways you may not even imagine.”
In fact, after reading this I realised that while going through missing my son I too can be of help to someone who is grieving. I wish more people will do the same. Grievers need help and especially to those one who are close with. Who else can do it if we do not?