Prashanth and Natasha

In the year 2005 Prashanth met Natasha, whom we fondly call Tasha, when Prashanth was pursuing his Medical degree. She was pursuing her degree in software engineering. She was to do a final year project related to medical field. She then met Prashanth through his lecturer to assist in the project. After 6 years of knowing each other, they got registered in December 2010.She waited patiently for him to complete his housmanship so that he can tie the knot. Their customary wedding was supposed to have taken place on the 27th of November 2011.

Prashanth Our Treasure

While we were submerged in the passion of bliss, the sudden tide of grief has forcefully taken over, reiterating that, past is past and that happiness is your past, in the remaining part of our earthly life. Thus, while we are struggling with our adored missing link, the rest of us are clinging together with memories of his love.

Help those who Grieve

Inevitable tragedies bound to happen, and it can come to anyone at anytime and sometimes without any sign. We also cannot stop anyone from grieving, especially when they have to part with their loved ones. No one can substitue anything, the grieving person is yearning for. Although we might be lost with words, we can still be there, extending our shoulder for the grieving person  to lean on,  which is all he or she needs.   

……But sad to say,  till to this day many of us still say “I don’t know what to say” and so …..we keep away. 

Quote:We are one, after all, you and I, together we suffer, together exist and forever will recreate each other.“– by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

If you are grieving ‘losing’ someone….

When someone close to you passes on, especially if it is sudden, you will be devastated and will feel paralysed. Although many around you would be sympathsing with you, very few  might even know what you are going through, yet more often  than not you will hear the sound of the pathetic words, ‘I understand’.

The grief which invades you  is within you, which cannot be seen  as it is invisible or  neither can be measured as there is no available gadget and even if there is one,  it will be of no use, anyway.  You cannot negotiate with it, ignore it, push it off, bury it or fight with  this rebellious uncompromising ‘enemy’  dwelling  in you.  You will not be able to accept the ‘loss’  of  your loved one but you will give in to accept the grief that tag along with it.   You will keep  on grieving, sometimes even with some severe intermittent pain and with no sign of time in sight, for the grief  to start subsiding  gradually.   In some cases, if not many, the grief will go on until it demises  naturally with you at the  end of your earthly life. 

But while grieving you should not let yourself to be succumbed to self destruction or be seen as a burden to anyone.  You have to be a self-therapist, as you might be getting very little help, as paradoxically  and regretfully  it is sad to note that most of us have yet to learn how to console those who are grieving. But do not let the grief  take total control of you or your time.  Instead you should eventually take in-charge of your grief – while going through it, and that is the only option you have.

Your existing plans and goals  could have come to a sudden halt but now you have  to use your grief as your ‘new resource’, to start your new plans and goals, for your new direction in life and which could also fulfil part of the  earthly goal(s) of your loved ones, who are now in the spiritual realm.  You have to Remember, we are all individual souls who come to this earth at different time and go back to our home at different time. While here, we have to accomplish our individual assignments until  the time we  join the loved ones, on the other side.

It is my fervent wish that to seek solace and peace this website could pave the way for  you, to share your grief with those who are grieving like me and my family and link to resources which could be of help  to you to go through this brief temporary earthly life cycle, whilst fulfilling the wishes of your loved ones, who are in the spiritual home, watching over you.

 Bala (Prashanth’s dad)

“We must embrace pain and burn it as  fuel for our journey”
 – Kenji Mayazawa (1841-1919)

Manage Your Grief

Do not be alone. Keep sharing your grief all the time. Although it is not easy to share everything of what you are going through with everyone, and that not everyone will be  able to sit with you offering their ears to your repeated cries of your missing loved one, you can still find a few from time to time, who will be helpful and care for you. At times you might even find new acquaintances who listen to share what you are going through.  Listeners play a great part as healers.

Books are one of the best tools. In fact, as long as you can read they can be your everlasting  memorable companions, to give you a daily dose of strength. There are various books to assist you  especially when you are in the dark facing a sudden ‘loss’ of someone you love. You will be able to find some answers you might be seeking. In addition, you can also seek some assitance through the grief support  websites/blogs.

The trauma you will be going through can aggravate if you stay idle and just brood over the ‘loss’ of your loved one. Keep yourself pre-occupied doing something physically, while grieving. Simple exercises will help your mind. Even attending to some house hold chores can be of benefit. For a start walking or even strolling will make you feel better.